How to Tim Tam Slam

How to Tim Tam Slam

Posted by Mark Bentham, The Coffee Man on 6th Sep 2019

The Tim Tam Slam is a culinary practice that engages the worlds least practical but most delicious edible straw.

It turns out that while the Tim Tam has been marketed under various names and parent companies around the world, us Aussies are still the most well-versed in its chocolaty wonders. As such, we know that the best way to eat one is to bite off opposite corners of the biscuit, use it as a straw to slurp up a delicious hot drink like a Kimberley Coffee Company Organic Blend, and then pop the whole warm, melty treat into our mouth in one go.

In 1958, a horse called Tim Tam won the Kentucky Derby. Six years later, the Australian biscuit manufacturer Arnott’s named their (now) iconic cookie after the horse. Inspired by British Penguin cookies, Tim Tams feature two biscuits, a creamy filling, and a chocolate coating. This seemingly unremarkable structure gives Tim Tams a unique advantage: the ability to form a momentary straw.

Aussie band, OXO Cuban, wrote and sings about this magical experience…

“Get yourself a hot drink and Tim Tam or two,
then bite both ends off one and use it as a straw,
then quickly gulp the lot before it ends up on the floor.
Hot chocolate, tea or coffee, it’s a choice you’ll have to make,
‘cos when it comes to sugar rush, this really takes the cake,
we were doing the Tim Tam Slam.”

Ever done a Tim Tam Slam? Check Youtube for thousands of incredible How-To’s, or read below for our step by step guide to Slam It Like A Boss…

STEPS To HEAVEN via a Tim Tam Slam

  1. Open a packet of original Tim Tams* and bask in the glory of a fresh Tim Tam. It’s a true thing of beauty.
  2. Make yourself (or order) a sensational coffee. The beverage you are slamming into needs to be warm, and needs to be delicious.
  3. Grip the centre of the Tim Tam between your thumb and forefinger.
  4. Take a small bite in one corner of each end – that’s 2 small bites, one per end. The emphasis is on small — your goal here is simply to create an opening large enough to expose the wafers and creme filling within, not chomp off the whole end of the Tim Tam. Tempting, but restrain yourself.
  5. Hold the Tim Tam at one of the unbitten end corners. Position your mouth, your Tim Tam and your within easy mouth to cup distance for the upcoming slam.
  6. Use the Tim Tam like a straw and suck up the hot liquid through the biscuit. You’re going to need to suck pretty hard (pause), and you should stop as soon as you feel the hot chocolate/tea/coffee hit your lips. This is important.
  7. Slam the entire, sodden biscuit into your mouth. This is the slam bit. Starting from when the liquid hits your lips, you’ve got about three seconds before the structural integrity of the biscuit is compromised. When it hits your tongue, it will disintegrate and unleash its warm, gooey core into your mouth. OMG. (Pro tip: Right before slamming, turn the biscuit upright so that the part that was in the hot beverage is pointing to the ceiling. This will allow some of the liquid to seep down to the area near your fingers, which will be the least melted.)

*KEEP IN MIND...

There are multiple varieties of Tim Tams out there; do not be distracted by white chocolate raspberry Tim Tams or salted caramel Tim Tams. You want original Tim Tams, or the new Tim Tam Slam special editions... No substitutions. AND, you don't even want the double dipped original Tim Tams because they give you less Tim Tams in a sleeve. Didn’t know that did you??!!